When I was young, as young as ten years old, I remember walking on my tiptoes around my house. It all started because I had this obsession with being quiet. I hated hearing the floorboards creak beneath my weight. It was like, even in my childhood, I was extremely disturbed by the idea of people […]
Hi, sweet readers! One of my resolutions this year was to post every week (so check back here each Monday for a new little blurb from me!) and another was to start journaling more. Just wanted to let you know that you can expect some more casual posts about my feelings and my life, sprinkled in with […]
I was terrified of my own voice for seven years. Absolutely petrified. I didn’t want people to know what it felt like to be me. To be struggling with perfectionism so overpowering that I became numbers over letters, to be battling mental illnesses without a soul knowing the severity, the agony, to “have it all” […]
It’s no secret that I’ve spent a good chunk of my life battling an eating disorder. In fact, mental health advocacy and writing have become the thing that I’m most well known for nowadays.
Last night, I woke up in a cold sweat. My bedroom window was still encased in onyx, the clouds rolling ruthlessly over a moon that offered no ounce of illumination. I had kicked all of the covers off of my bed, mistaking them for hands that were not gentle. My hair was stuck to […]
It’s national post-traumatic stress disorder awareness day. While I’m usually very vocal about my struggles with mental illnesses, including anorexia, anxiety, and depression, PTSD is the one that I’m pretty silent on. I thought today, on the day that was named for this very reason, would be the right day to shed just a little […]
I was viciously inhaling toilet water through a feeding tube when I realized, hey, maybe this whole “recovery thing” is going to be a lot harder than I thought. Let me backtrack. I had been in quasi-recovery many a time before. I did most of my work entirely outpatient, bouncing from therapist to therapist, being […]
The best way to suppress your appetite: Eat breakfast. Eat a snack. Eat lunch. Eat a snack. Eat dinner. Eat a snack. And any time in between, if you happen to feel hungry, you can knock it out immediately by…wait for it…eating something! If there’s one thing I hate with a fiery passion, it’s diet […]
I am eighteen years old. For nearly a decade now, I have been dealing with disordered thoughts around eating; eventually they manifested into a full blown eating disorder (which you can read a little bit more about here). I have been in and out of therapy, in and out of life, for years, and finally, […]